Mama Mia!

I saw this commercial for Pizza Hut's newest novelty pizza, called the Sicilian Lasagna Pizza. Piqued by the name, I sat up and awaited the voice-over's explanation of how they had managed to merge lasagna and pizza into one discrete food item. But damn it all, they didn't. All they fucking did was throw some tomato sauce, cheese, and meat on some bread and name it after lasagna.

To its credit, I'll admit, it is rectangular. So maybe if you took your contacts out and held your nose, you could fool yourself into thinking someone had delivered you the world's shittiest lasagna.

And then, Christ, the other day I found a print ad in the Sunday paper. You know what slogan they decided on for the Sicilian Lasagna Pizza? "The pizza that eats like a meal!"

Holy Toledo!!! Pizza?? As a meal?! No one under the age of 172 thinks you can eat pizza as an entire meal! Pizza Hut better build a new wing onto corporate headquarters- you know, to house all those thank you cards.