I've been struggling with an identity problem for the last few years. The problem is about women's leg hair.
I've been a feminist ever since I bothered thinking about it. I believe women should enjoy the same rights and opportunities that men do. Accordingly, I don't think it's fair to ask women to do things that we wouldn't ask of a man. For example, if I ever have a kid, I won't expect my partner to quit her job and stay home. Or if I ever get married, I won't expect my wife to change her name. (Now if she wants to be a stay-at-home mom or take my last name, I'm open to it. But the point is I wouldn't want someone to demand those things of me, so I'm not demanding them of my future wife.)
Which is where leg hair comes in. For whatever reason, women with leg hair have been incredibly marginalized in this country. I don't think I'm any different from the overwhelming majority of men when I say I'm not sure I could be attracted to a woman who doesn't shave. Sure, there are hairy women living in communes in New Mexico or whatever, but for the most part, you just don't see any women with leg hair. I don't know a single woman who doesn't shave her legs regularly.
Of course it's also true that many women like their hairless legs. Maybe shaving is a minor pain in the ass, but they like the way it makes their legs look and feel. It's become such a normal part of their grooming routine that it doesn't bother them.
Which is fortunate, because I think their lives would be a lot different if it did bother them. Either they would continue to shave in spite of the bother, in which case every morning (or every 3 days or whatever) would be a reminder of this stupid, sexist thing they feel compelled to do. Or they would quit shaving their legs. But if they did this, it seems pretty clear--and please tell me if I'm wrong in believing this--that their romantic and professional lives would be very, very different from what they are now. Imagine a college girl, single and soon to be looking for a job. How many potential employers would immediately write her off? What percentage of single guys would do the same?
I did know a girl in high school who didn't shave her legs, although no one knew about it because she wore jeans everyday. But wearing jeans to hide the hair is every bit the acknowledgment that it's not okay for women to have leg hair that shaving is. So the college girl could just wear a pantsuit or dark pantyhose to her job interviews, but she'd be doing so precisely because she's aware of the taboo and fears the consequences of breaking it.
Anyway, the social requirement that women shave their legs is inherently sexist. There's no such requirement, or even anything analogous, that men have to deal with. And the fact that I consider myself a feminist is where the identity crisis comes in. As I mentioned earlier, if I'm honest with myself, I'm not sure I could be attracted to a woman with leg hair. So if having leg hair is a deal-breaker for me, then I'm asking something of my date that I wouldn't want her to ask of me.
Fortunately, this is a pretty minor identity crisis. The rule against women's leg hair is so powerfully followed that it hasn't cost me anything. None of my girlfriends has ever approached the leg hair issue with me, and I've been happy to let them keep right on shaving. I even told one of them about my qualms; she understood my point, but she still chooses to shave.
__________
All these things were bothering me, in a very low intensity sort of way, until last weekend. I was walking down St. Mark's Place with my sister one afternoon and we passed a very pretty girl tying her shoe. And she had leg hair. As we kept walking, I kept thinking about her legs. The hair was immediately noticeable, but it didn't look gross at all. It wasn't very long and it wasn't as thick as men's leg hair usually is. It looked kind of silky. I was surprised by how little it bothered me. The hair didn't make me more attracted to her, but it didn't make me less attracted either.
So maybe I don't have an identity crisis after all. Maybe I just assumed I wasn't attracted to women with leg hair because I'd never seen one before. Or because everyone talks so casually about how gross it is. The closest I'd ever come to seeing a woman with leg hair was when a girlfriend hadn't shaved for a few days. And yeah, that early growth part where the hair is stiff and prickly: that is kind of gross.
But anyway, crisis averted. Now that the leg hair problem isn't weighing on me anymore, I can go back to focusing all my energies on being a jobless schmuck.
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Shaving my legs I can deal with. The only time I’ve ever resented the opposite sex when it comes to everyday burdens is the incredibly high cost of birth control. Even supplemented by insurance (if you’re lucky), you’re still looking at around $50 a month. I feel pretty strongly men should chip in for this (or at least offer, yo) or take the edge of another bill to compensate, you know?
ReplyDeleteAlso, if you think about it, it’s far less demanding than other concessions men or women make in order to stay attractive to the opposite sex. Working out, Crest White Strips, cleaning the toilet when company comes over….way more of a pain in the ass.
And I’m just waiting for the first fetishistic American Apparel leg hair ad to premiere. You know it’s coming, right? Or worse, shiny unitards that expose the um…..underbelly (?) subculture of ladies that keep things real natural, you know? I think just took your blog down a notch. Sorry.
Also, quit feeling sorry for yourself, Clemens. Damn.
Ok, maybe fuckup was a little harsh. I'm happier with schmuck.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Almost any state of being is better expressed in Yiddish.
ReplyDeleteAnd Seattle is always here, schmuck.
I keep coming back to this post because I was hoping other girls would comment. I thought this was a really sweet blog topic worthy of some discussion. I guess the universe dare not disrupt the holy trinity of blog responses comprised solely of Sam, Dave and Doug. Stupid.
ReplyDeleteIf you've never seen a girl with hairy legs, you obviously didn't go to IU. For awhile when I was there, hairy legs were in vogue among a certain patchouli-scented crowd. I tried it, briefly, but-- unlike the pretty girl you saw with the flowy leg hair, mine is more of the Brindle Fly variety. Not flattering.
ReplyDeleteBut I also go razor-free some winters when I need a little extra insulation. It becomes entertaining (to me, not to my husband) to see how long I can stand to let it grow.
How do you all feel about hairy armpits? I find it confusingly cute on some girls.
Also, is this Jack's blog, by any chance? I stumbled upon it through Sam's blog and was drawn to the leg-hair discussion (Sam, your wish came true!). Sounds Jacklike to me.
Close: this is Jack's younger brother (I'll choose--reluctantly--to consider "Jacklike" a compliment). I'm glad you stumbled and I hope you'll have a look around.
ReplyDeleteI guess armpit hair is exactly like leg hair for me, identity-wise. I'm reluctant to lump birth control into the mix, because that's where the equality argument starts to break down. I wouldn't mind pitching in for BC, but I have a feeling some women would feel weird about tying their sexual freedom to a man's wallet. But did anyone read the thing in Slate about IUDs? To a layman like me (emphasis on man), this seems ideal-- safe, effective, cheap, and virtually effortless.
As for the other cosmetic stuff like teeth whitening, it doesn't really interest me. When the social requirement is bilateral, it stops being an equality thing; now it's just vanity. A lot of it seems pretty silly to me. But whatever gets you laid, I guess.
Ha. Yes, I meant "Jacklike" as a compliment. I guess what I really meant was "Clemens-tine."
ReplyDeleteI don't think you need to worry about offending anybody by offering to pitch in for BC. Just don't offer to pay for teeth whitening, personal training, or laser hair removal
I'm glad you've dealt with this issue. We had this conversation once before and you insisted that the whole shaving thing was indicative of the inescapable reality that women MUST conform to a standard of beauty dictated by the male population. While I understood what you were saying, I objected because A: I know plenty of women who don't shave and have perfectly active sex lives, and B: in declaring your solidarity with the female population's struggle to overcome oppression you also managed to strip women of their agency in the matter, women deciding not shave because men suddenly think it's ok is not actually empowering women as they are still making decisions based on male preference. Yes while there are some women who laboriously shave for the purpose of pleasing the men they seek to attract, give the rest of us a little more credit and know that while societal norms influence even the most independent of us, the onus lies not solely on the shoulders of men, but also on those of the women who wills are easily bent
ReplyDeleteLeg hair problem is the main problem of women and is also a retaliated to hair removal . Your article is very much attract to me. Thanks a lot.....
ReplyDeleteהסרת שיער
I'm a man. I think its so degrading that women demand we shave our beards, why can't we just have big bushes on our faces like nature intended? Women are so shallow.
ReplyDeletei went to this mfa thesis art show at the college i go to today and there was one piece called self portrait in two versions bother were pictures of the artist (who is a woman) from the calf down, one with legs hairy one with them shaven.
ReplyDeletei am a woman who has hairy legs, but for very practical reasons
1. i live with out running water
2. i dont have time to shave my legs which i would have to do every day because my leg hair grows at incredible speeds -i would basically be in a constantly prickly situation if i did attempt to keep my legs shaven
3. if guys dont have to shave their legs im not going to either -also a way of weeding out men who are not so awesome.
i have had various friends that are guys and girls comment on what im doing, a few guys told me it was gross, a few guys said they didnt care. one demanded that i shave my legs. alot of girls think its gross, and honnestly i thought it was kinda gross when i started off with this whole leg hair project. but its kinda grown on me, also when i am biking and the wind picks up it feels way awesome.
also funny song that is semi related - map of tanzania by amanda palmer
the video is hilariously strange, a friend showed it to me and i have since loved watching people try and watch it.
also
thankyou for writing about this, its especailly cool to hear about it from a guys perspective
Awesome post. As a girl who recently quit shaving (because I'd reached that point of really resenting it, and just thought "hang on, why the fuck am I doing this?"), it's interesting to hear a guy's perspective. I actually really love my armpit hair, but despite having an awesome boyfriend I've struggled to feel entirely confident about my legs. But every pretty girl with natural legs will make it easier for the next girl (and guy) to realise it doesn't make you unattractive, so I'm happy to be part of the vanguard :P
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: "also a way of weeding out men who are not so awesome" - damn right! It's definitely helped prove to me how cool my boyfriend is.
ReplyDeleteIt's not is not just men who take issue with body hair, women are often disgusted by it as well. It is awfully strange that there is such a strong stigma against female hair that it can result in such strong reactions in people across gender lines. I have started not shaving, as an experiment on how it will affect my own body image, and I have found that I do think of myself in a more androgynous way. I think questioning thinking behind these cultural norms, and our own thinking is so important. Great post!
ReplyDeleteOh, and meg's "brindle fly" comment seriously made me laugh out loud.
hi! im a senior in highschool and i stopped shaving my legs 2 months ago. just this week, three days ago, i wore short pants to school for the first time. i hadnt done so earlier because of the aforementioned awkward prickly stage that i disliked. i go to a small private school, about 600 students, and so far i havent had any problems with being socially accepted. i wasnt with the popular crowd initially, but everyone is pleasantly friendly toward me regardless. i have heard of others talking about it, which is to be expected. i would tell my friends if i saw a girl with leg hair, but not in a malicious sort of way. i "startled" a girl in my calculus class, but i laughed harder than she did.
ReplyDeletethe only thing i think is that people might think i'm a lesbian. but ive never much been the total tomboy, just as ive never been the girliest girly girl. but i donated my hair over the summer, so i have a pretty short pixie cut now. ive been mistaken for a boy several times, probably because i go for the modest tshirt look most of the time. i dont have anything against lesbians, but i wouldnt want to be mistaken for something im not. thats understandable, right? anyways, i have a boyfriend and we've been together for a little over a year now. he doesnt mind my leg hair at all, so long as its not painfully prickly. and if i chose prickly, it wouldnt be a deciding factor for him. he actually encourages me to stick to whatever i really want to do with it. our relationship is based on personal/emotional factors rather than sexual ones, as we are completely abstinent.
while im still getting used to this all natural image he's my favorite accessory. i liked to think i didnt care what others thought of me, but it was really scary taking the first steps. i'm pretty sure the hardest part is over, because after 3 short days its not even a big deal to me anymore.
ive always detested shaving. my legs are never perfect when i do shave, they are either rashy or stubbly, and you can see my dark hair beneath my skin. so i decided to try not shaving during the winters and i loved it, even through i have dark hair. i would never even think of shaving ever again if i had blond hair, but that in itself is contradictory . i still envy smooth legs from time to time, but not as much as when i had rashy legs. im starting to embrace the natural look.
the weirdest thing for me is still shoes. if i wear nice feminine shoes and look down at my ankles, i feel like a transvestite. but i suppose i'll get used to that too.
my hands down number one all time favorite thing about not shaving is the feeling of the wind tickling my leg hair. always.
I am not a feminist, but I prefer to keep my leg hair rather than to shave the hair off.People will stare and talk about it, yet I learned to not let bother me so much. But anyway, I enjoyed reading the post! :)
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