(1) I sure hate the internet. The latest thing to piss me off is user-generated content. Web 2.0 or whatever you assholes call it. You know who has consistently dumb ideas and opinions? Users. It reminds me of those asinine discussion sections from college and the Socratic Method in law school, where lazy professors decide that letting their ignorant students discuss complicated issues is a better use of everyone’s time than actually bothering to teach anything. I realize I sound like a stuffy old ivory tower pedant, but fuck it: I’m a stuffy old ivory tower pedant.
I suppose I don’t care that these comments features exist per se; I certainly don’t bother reading them. What really worries me is how ESPN.com has begun posting user comments on the front page of its site, as if these uninformed, barely intelligible opinions are somehow their own form of news. Appending these comments to the end of an article is one thing, but advertising the comments as an independent reason to view the site is something else. What’s most depressing is ESPN’s tacit admission that its only goal is ad revenue. It’s only a news organization to the extent that news reporting attracts advertisers. If hosting a forum for amateur teenagers who can’t spell to discuss their thoughts on Human Growth Hormone and call each other douchebags turns out to attract more revenue, then I guess that’s what sports fans can look forward to. Fuck me.
(2) I think the makers of my Sony Ericsson W810 cell phone are anti-Semitic. My auto-text feature doesn’t recognize the word “bagel”. On the other hand, “Hitler rules” always pops right up.
(3) I’m the only heterosexual male vegetarian I know (unless my brother is a vegetarian again. And still heterosexual).
I don’t know what to make of this.
(4) Speaking of the internet, the OTHER most infuriating thing of all time is how pretty much every site now features video content of stuff that has no need for video. Slate.com recently introduced Slate V, some bullshit video feature that includes a weekly animated Dear Prudence letter and response. The video adds absolutely nothing to the feature: the columnist simply reads the letter over an animated dramatization of the letter’s content, then stares at the camera and gives her answer. It’s just like the print version, except it takes longer and I have to worry about having the right flash drivers and pissing off my colleagues in the next office. Isn’t that awesome? ESPN, Yahoo and CNN, to name 3 of my least favorite daily sites, all do the same thing. Now if I’m browsing the web for FILTHY INTERRACIAL BUKKAKE FACIALS, then obviously I wouldn’t mind a video or two. But if I want to know which of my decrepit running backs to start in my fantasy league, I don’t want to wait for a stream of some ugly nutsack being interviewed by some other nutsack. Just feed me the fucking information.
Balls.
Posts
user error.
ReplyDeleteWhat you forget, Blog. Gen., is that ESPN has not been a reputable or dependable site for many, many years now. If you want "detailed" analysis of anything, you have to pay for their gee Insider service.
ReplyDeleteI remember in college someone had gotten Dick Vitale's Insider user name and password, and so we used to use his info (user name was vitaled, password was espn1234), but he must have caught on and so that doesn't work anymore.
ESPN is gee, both the network and the website.
I still have "vitaled" saved in my password manager. Hasn't worked for years.
ReplyDeleteThe NY Times recently scrapped its Times Select premium service when they realized they'd make more money in advertising than in subscriber fees. I'm crossing my fingers that ESPN will come to the same conclusion.