May 5, 2007

Emergency Mailbag

Dear New Pornographers,

I wonder if you could answer a couple of things for me.

(1) You know that scene at the beginning of Manhattan where Isaac and Tracy and Yale and Emily are having dinner at Elaine's and Isaac tells them his ex-wife is writing a book about their divorce and Emily says "that's really tacky" and Isaac says "it's really depressing" and Yale says "gossip is the new pornography"? Is that where you got your name?

(2) Recently I've had kind of a problem. I was sitting around with my buddy a few weeks ago and one of us said "I wonder if The New Pornographers will ever write a bad song." Ever since then it's been killing me. COULD you write a bad song? I'm having trouble eating and sleeping and my work has really suffered. Maybe you all could go out of your way to write a bad song on purpose, just so I can put it behind me? If you'd just go out there and write a bad song (I'd even settle for mediocre), I think I could get on with my life.

Maybe you could eat some bad clams before you start writing. Or get soused the night before and throw something together on a raging hangover. Or perhaps a cover. That Justin Timberlake song "My Love" kind of sucks-- would you mind giving it a shot?

ps. If you think this qualifies as a bad song and/or video, I'm afraid you're going to have to try harder.

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