Unobservant Simpleton Fails Again To Think Before He Acts

Last summer, when I was interning at a law firm in New York, a group of fellow vegetarians and I agreed to share information about vegetarian-friendly restaurants we discovered in Manhattan. Although I was new to NYC and had zero knowledge of its restaurants, I was eager to ingratiate myself to the group, which consisted mostly of NYU students and at least two attorneys at the firm.

One day, I emailed the group about a small fast food place I often passed on my evening walk to the subway. It was one of those vaguely tex-mex places, and I had noticed they often served explicitly vegetarian options (like veggie chorizo tacos) in addition to regular bullshit like bean and cheese burritos. I ate there once and enjoyed it; it was cheap, close to the office, and tasted pretty good.

The restaurant was BurritoVille. Over the next few weeks, I discovered that BurritoVilles were peppered all over Manhattan, from Battery Park to the Upper West Side. There was one by the office, one near my apartment, two in the Village. Twelve in all. Essentially, I had emailed a bunch of Manhattan residents about the existence of a well-known, lightly-regarded chain restaurant.

For those of you unfamiliar with New York, my "recommendation" was basically the equivalent of walking up to a bunch of homosexuals and saying "Hey guys- I just discovered this great new technique called fellatio! You might prefer anal, but if you're in a hurry, you should try it out. It's a lot faster, clean-up is a breeze, and it still feels pretty good!"

While I'm here, I'd like to recommend this cool band called The Beatles (I think they spell the name wrong on purpose). If you like Oasis, you should check them out!